Surrendering: Trusting the Flow of Life
Surrendering isn’t about giving up; it’s about choosing to let go and trust. For most of us, letting go feels risky because it means releasing control. But what if, instead of living out of fear, we lived out of trust?
11/11/20244 min read
A big lesson in surrendering came to me through my fear of flying. Every time I’d sit in my seat, tension would creep up, and I’d grip the armrests with every bump of turbulence. I wanted to feel in control of the situation, even though I knew I couldn’t change it. Eventually, I realized that all I could do was release my grip and breathe deeply, trusting that I’d reach my destination safely. This was the first time I truly saw the power of surrender, understanding that once we’ve done our part, our job is to sit back, let go, and trust the journey.
Say “No” to the Mind’s Voice and “Yes” to Life
Our minds are constantly talking, quick to form judgments and find faults. This voice in our heads has endless opinions and often keeps us locked in cycles of fear, second-guessing, and resistance. But surrendering means choosing to rise above this voice—to say “no” to its demands and “yes” to life itself. When we stop letting this inner chatter lead, we’re able to embrace each moment more fully, allowing life to unfold naturally without resistance.
Setting Boundaries with Love
Surrendering doesn’t mean abandoning boundaries or letting go of what’s important to us. Instead, it’s about expressing our needs and values with love, not fear. We can set boundaries from a place of self-respect, then release our attachment to how everything should turn out. By surrendering control over the outcomes, we move forward with a sense of calm and trust.
Letting Go of the Outcome
One of the biggest challenges in surrendering is releasing our attachment to specific outcomes. It’s easy to believe that we know what’s best, but I hate to breake it to you; sometimes life really knows better. When we detach from the outcome, we give life space to bring something magical. It’s about trusting that even if things don’t go exactly as we envisioned, they’re unfolding as they should.
A Great Resource: "The Surrender Experiment" by Michael A. Singer
In my journey to better understand surrender, The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer became a life-changing resource. Singer shares his personal journey of letting go of his own need to control and following where life naturally led him. His approach to embracing life’s flow rather than resisting it offers inspiring and practical insights for anyone interested in practicing surrender. If you’re drawn to this concept, I highly recommend giving this book a read—it’s a powerful guide to letting go and finding peace in the process.
If this resonates with you, here's a link to the book on Amazon, so you can start reading it yourself: https://amzn.to/4hFIBJ0
6 Steps to Embrace Surrender in Daily Life
Set an Intention
It can be very helpful to start your day with the intention to surrender. It will make you more alert to the (sometimes very subtle) moments where you feel the resistance, and therefore easier to work with them.
Pause and Notice the Voice
Start by simply noticing the inner chatter when it kicks in. Recognize its attempt to control, judge, or criticize. Do you see that it almost instantly labels something as a 'like' or a 'dislike'? Gently remind yourself that this voice isn’t you; it’s just one part of your mind. Say “no” to letting it take charge.Breathe and Release
When you feel the need to control, take a deep breath. Imagine releasing the tension as you exhale, creating a sense of lightness and openness to the moment. You're releasing the resistance and making space for the flow.Practice “What If I Let Go?”
Practice this throughout your days, with every moment you feel resistance, no matter how big or small; ask yourself "What if I just let go?". And then let go, accept the situation as it is and don't allow your mind to make rattle on about why it doesn't like it.Embrace Uncertainty as a Friend
See life’s unknowns as potential allies rather than threats. Approach uncertainty with curiosity, imagining the surprises life could bring if you step back and trust.Take a Moment to Reflect
At night, before you go to bed, take some time to look back on your day. Were there moments where you were able to notice the voice? Maybe you managed to hear it, but not listen to it? Did you surrender today? What happened when you surrendered? How did it make you feel?
Journal Prompts for Surrender
Reflecting on these prompts can help you release the need to control and lean into trust:
What areas of my life am I holding on to too tightly? What would it feel like to let go?
How might my life change if I welcomed more trust and surrender?
In what ways can I set loving boundaries and release attachment to specific outcomes?
Write about a time you let go of control and something wonderful happened. How did it feel?
Final Thoughts: The Magic of Letting Go
When we surrender, we make room for life’s magic to unfold. By choosing to say “no” to the mind’s relentless need for control and “yes” to life’s natural flow, we allow the unexpected and the beautiful to take center stage. Now, don't expect every little act of letting go to be filled with magic, sometimes the most you'll get out of it is an inner state of peace (which is still very much worth it, in my opinion), but when you practice it more and more you'll find that the magic starts to happen. Surrendering is about trusting that life knows the way, often better than we do. When we let go, we experience a life that’s less fearful, more open, and infinitely richer.